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Borrowed Spoons – Written By April G

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When Anxiety Stops Feeling Mental And Starts Feeling Physical

May 30th 2026

People hear the words “social anxiety” and often picture someone shy or uncomfortable in crowds. What they don’t always see is what happens when anxiety begins living in your body too.

For me, anxiety is not just nervousness.

It can make me physically sick. It affects my sleep, my moods, my ability to function, and sometimes even my ability to leave the house without fear sitting heavy on my chest.

There are days when panic completely drains me. My body gets so overwhelmed that afterward I sleep for hours. Not because I am lazy. Not because I am avoiding life. But because anxiety can be exhausting when your nervous system feels like it has been running a marathon all day.

One of the hardest parts for me has been how anxiety changed the way I feel about doctors and emergency rooms.

–🤎–

In 2015, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Since then, I have spent years learning about flare-ups, chronic pain, exhaustion, and how deeply it can affect everyday life. Some days I can manage it. Some days I cannot.

Then I hurt my back.

There was a period of time where I could barely move or even get up without help. I was put on bedrest, and I remember how humbling and emotional that season was for me. I had to give myself permission to ask for help and to accept the help I truly needed.

That was not easy for me.

My anxiety during that time was incredibly high. Even with medical records, proof, diagnoses, and doctors documenting what was happening, there were still moments where I felt like people thought I was exaggerating or faking my pain.

That kind of experience changes you emotionally.

–🤎–

It makes you question yourself.
It makes you afraid of being vulnerable.
It makes you feel like you constantly have to explain or defend your pain to other people.

And the stress from those experiences kept my fibromyalgia in flare-ups more often, which became its own exhausting cycle.

Pain causes stress.
Stress causes anxiety.
Anxiety affects sleep and emotions.
Lack of rest worsens the pain.

It became a loop my body struggled to escape.

And when a true flare hits and the medicine at home does not help, sometimes I have had no choice but to go to the ER.

What people do not understand is how much those experiences can stay with you.

–🤎–

There were times I felt dismissed before I even spoke. Times I felt judged because of my weight before anyone looked deeper into what I was experiencing. Times I left feeling like people saw me as a problem instead of a person in pain.

“Just lose weight.”
“It’s because of your weight.”
“If you were smaller…”

After hearing things like that enough, something changes inside you.

You stop feeling safe walking into places that are supposed to help you.

Instead, you begin preparing yourself to defend your pain.

That fear followed me home.

–🤎–

Now I struggle deeply with unfamiliar doctors. I panic before appointments. My body reacts before my mind can calm itself down. Hospitals and ERs no longer feel neutral to me. They feel connected to fear, exhaustion, vulnerability, and the possibility of not being believed.

Social anxiety has affected more than just my ability to go places. It has affected relationships too.

I have lost friendships and even strained relationships with family because there were days I canceled plans over and over again. Days where my anxiety became so overwhelming that I burst into tears because I simply could not handle the day emotionally or physically.

People sometimes misunderstand anxiety as not caring, being flaky, or avoiding people on purpose.

But many times, I wanted desperately to show up. My mind and body just would not cooperate.

–🤎–

Home life can also become difficult when anxiety and OCD mix together.

If you struggle with OCD too, I want you to know I understand that exhaustion. Sometimes it feels like your brain and body are being controlled by something outside yourself that keeps screaming that everything has to be done “the right way” before you can relax.

It can make simple tasks emotionally draining.
It can make your home feel overwhelming instead of peaceful.
And it can make it very hard for your nervous system to ever fully rest.

–🤎–

Anxiety and OCD have also affected my marriage in ways that are hard to explain unless you have lived it.

Sometimes I feel incredibly guilty for what my husband has had to walk through alongside me. Not because he has done anything wrong, but because anxiety can appear out of nowhere and completely change the atmosphere of a day.

There are moments where my mind will not slow down long enough for me to simply enjoy being present.

Even intimacy can become emotionally exhausting when your brain is constantly overthinking everything.

Am I doing enough?
Am I being affectionate enough?
Am I making him feel loved enough?
Am I disappointing him somehow?
Am I failing without realizing it?

My brain does not stop.

And when anxiety mixes with OCD, even home life can start feeling mentally overwhelming.

–🤎–

Living in a small RV means every space matters, and when things are not put away or not in the place my mind feels they should be, my nervous system reacts intensely. What may look small to someone else can feel like complete chaos inside my head.

Sometimes it feels like my mind is screaming while I am trying to stay calm on the outside.

I can feel myself getting overwhelmed so deeply that mentally I feel like I might explode, but I hold so much of that inside because I do not want my family carrying the weight of it too.

That is one of the hardest parts of anxiety and OCD that people do not always see.

The exhaustion of trying to manage your own mind while also trying to protect the people you love from how loud it feels inside your head.

And even in the middle of all of that, I still love deeply.
I still care deeply.
Sometimes my mind is just fighting battles my heart wishes it could quiet down long enough to escape from.

–🤎–

And I know I am not the only person carrying this kind of anxiety.

Especially for people living with chronic illness, invisible pain, fibromyalgia, OCD, or conditions others cannot physically see, there is often an emotional weight that comes with constantly having to explain yourself.

Sometimes the hardest part is not even the pain itself.

Sometimes it is the loneliness of wondering whether anyone believes it exists at all.

I am still learning how to navigate all of this. I am still learning how to calm my nervous system, how to advocate for myself, and how to separate past experiences from present moments.

–🤎–

But I also wanted to say this out loud for the people who understand these feelings quietly.

If anxiety has ever left you exhausted…
If medical experiences have left you fearful…
If chronic illness has made you feel unseen…
If panic has affected your body just as much as your thoughts…
If OCD has made your mind feel loud and restless…

You are not alone.

And your pain deserves compassion.

–🤎–

Click on the link for more and resources. My story continues here.

There is a free printable for when you anxiety needs calming! Print here!

–🤎–

I am sharing another song I wrote that I feel also goes with this post. I hope it speaks to you.

Not Every Pain Shows – Written by April G.

–🤎–

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