The Empty Chairs We Carry: Loving Someone After Goodbye
There are some moments in life that create a before and after.
Before the phone call.
Before the diagnosis.
Before the goodbye.
Before the moment you realized life would never look exactly the same again.
Grief is one of the hardest things we experience because it comes from one of the most beautiful things we experience…
Love.
We grieve deeply because we loved deeply.
And sometimes that love has nowhere to go.
Grief Looks Different for Everyone
—💙💙💙—
One thing I’ve learned about loss is that grief doesn’t follow rules.
It doesn’t check the calendar.
It doesn’t ask if you’re busy.
It doesn’t disappear because everyone else has moved forward.
Sometimes grief is loud.
It’s crying until you can’t breathe.
It’s anger.
It’s questions.
It’s feeling completely lost.
But sometimes grief is quiet.
It’s reaching for the phone to call someone who isn’t there.
It’s seeing something at a store they would have loved.
It’s hearing a song.
It’s an empty chair at the table.
It’s a recipe in their handwriting.
It’s a holiday that feels different forever.
The Losses We Don’t Always Talk About
—💙💙💙—
Some grief is seen by everyone.
And some grief is carried quietly.
The babies we never got to watch grow up.
The names we picked out.
The birthdays only we remember.
The dreams we had already built in our hearts.
The future moments we imagined.
Pregnancy loss and infant loss are a kind of heartbreak that is hard to explain.
Because you aren’t only grieving what was…
You are grieving everything that could have been.
The first steps.
The bedtime stories.
The birthdays.
The little hand you thought you would hold.
A tiny life can leave a forever-sized space in a heart.
My Story With Loss
—💙💙💙—
My family knows grief.
We have sat with it.
We have cried through it.
We have tried to understand things that don’t have easy answers.
I have lost babies I never got enough time with.
I carried the heartbreak of saying goodbye when my heart was ready to love them for a lifetime.
I know the pain of losing a mother.
The ache of losing grandparents who helped shape who you are.
The heartbreak of losing a dear friend.
We have walked through the loss of people who were woven into our everyday lives.
And if you have too…
I want you to know you’re sitting with someone who understands that grief isn’t something you simply “get over.”
You Don’t Move On, You Carry Forward
—💙💙💙—
People sometimes say:
“Move on.”
But I don’t think that’s really how love works.
We don’t erase people from our hearts.
We learn how to carry them differently.
We carry their lessons.
Their laughter.
Their recipes.
Their stories.
Their little sayings.
The way they loved us.
The pieces of them that helped create pieces of us.
Love doesn’t end because someone’s story here ended.
When Everyone Else Goes Back to Normal
—💙💙💙—
One of the hardest parts of grief is watching the world continue.
The sun rises.
People go to work.
The grocery store is still busy.
Life keeps moving.
And you wonder…
“Doesn’t everyone know my whole world just changed?”
But grief is often invisible.
People can’t always see the moments when your heart still hurts.
That’s why we have to be gentle with each other.
Everyone is carrying someone or something they’ve lost.
Finding Little Pieces of Light Again
—💙💙💙—
Healing after loss doesn’t mean forgetting.
Laughing again doesn’t mean you stopped missing them.
Having good days doesn’t mean you didn’t love them enough.
Joy and grief can exist together.
You can miss someone with your whole heart…
And still build beautiful moments.
You can cry because they’re gone…
And smile because they were here.
To the Person Missing Someone Today
—💙💙💙—
If you’re reading this with tears in your eyes…
I wish I could sit beside you on the porch for a little while.
No fixing.
No rushing.
No telling you how you should feel.
Just sitting together and honoring the love behind your grief.
Say their name.
Tell their stories.
Remember them.
Love does not disappear.
The people we lose leave fingerprints all over who we become.
A Prayer for the Grieving Heart
—💙💙💙—
Lord,
Please be close to every person carrying grief today.
Comfort the parent missing their child.
The child missing their parent.
The friend missing the person they always called.
The spouse facing an empty chair.
The hearts carrying losses no one else sees.
Give us peace on the days the memories hurt.
Help us find joy without guilt.
And remind us that love is never wasted.
Amen.
Around the Porch
—💙💙💙—
Have you lost someone you love?
A parent?
A baby?
A friend?
Someone who changed your life?
I would be honored to hear their story.
Here at Big Heart Real Life, your grief has a place to sit.
Your loved one deserves to be remembered.
Your story matters.
Come join me on The Porch and share the names, memories, and little pieces of love they left behind.
Because sometimes healing starts when someone simply says:
“Tell me about them.”
If Your Grief Feels Too Heavy to Carry Alone…
—💙💙💙—
Before you leave the porch today, I want to say something important.
Grief is love with nowhere familiar to go.
And sometimes that love feels incredibly heavy.
If you are in a season where the sadness feels too big, where getting through the day feels overwhelming, or where you feel like you can’t carry it by yourself anymore…
Please reach out.
As much as I would love for Big Heart Real Life to be a safe place to share stories, memories, and encouragement, I also believe there is strength in reaching for extra hands when your heart needs them.
Talk to someone you trust.
A friend.
A family member.
A pastor.
A counselor.
A grief support group.
You were never meant to walk through heartbreak completely alone.
Grief Support Resources
🤍 For immediate emotional crisis support:
Call or text 988 in the United States and Canada to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can reach out if grief, loss, or emotional pain feels overwhelming.
🤍 Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support:
If you have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss, organizations like Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support offer communities and resources for grieving families.
🤍 Grief Support Groups:
Organizations such as GriefShare help connect people with grief recovery groups and support after losing a loved one.
And if what your heart needs today is simply a place to remember someone…
Come sit with us on The Porch.
Tell us their name.
Tell us their favorite song.
Tell us the funny thing they always did.
Tell us the recipe they made.
Tell us the little moments you never want forgotten.
Because our loved ones are more than the day we lost them.
They are stories.
They are laughter.
They are lessons.
They are love.
And love deserves to be remembered.
With love,
April
—💙💙💙—
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.